Several weeks ago, I made myself a commitment to “blog daily badly”. I’ve been actually pretty good at keeping to that and writing a blog post every day.
Yesterday though, I was exhausted. Between work, music, entertaining family from out-of-town and doing my taxes, I just didn’t have any energy to write a post. Part of me was pushing me to “just write ‘anything’ as long as I have a post and am fulfilling my commitment” and part of me was insisting that “each post has to be authentic to a spontaneous voice from inside of me” and frankly nothing was jumping at me. So I humbly gave in to “non-judgmental acceptance” and opted for a good night sleep.
Now that I think about it, I wonder whether that moment of decision is what separates the good from the great? Is going beyond what one “perceives” as all one can give what leads to greatness?
Some say that we are what we think and hence, if last night, I had made myself think that I’m not tired, I would perhaps have been able to write a post and this would have built new writing muscles in me. They would use the analogy of weight lifters and say you need to rupture muscles (with the associated pain) to build stronger muscles.
But then there are others who say that we should listen to our intuition and take time off when our body is asking for it. They say our intuition, a culmination of thousands of years of evolution, is far more intelligent than our rational mind, a result of our up-bringing. They would use the analogy of performance cyclists and runners who during training, take days off for their body to recuperate.
So what is a novice blogger to do? 🙂
The spiritual side of me says that in the bigger scheme of things, nothing really matters and there is no real ‘greatness’ and no one person or thing is better than another. That same spiritual side of me remembers the Buddhist saying that: “the more you let go, the more you gain”. I do know that if one has a passion for something, even if one lapses, intuitively one will get back to it. I also believe in taking baby steps. Just doing the best I can everyday (even if it means doing nothing some days) will get me to where I want to go.
I will not give voice to the other side of me I’m all too familiar with: the ego-driven side that is deplete of depth and meaning and replete with insecurities and fears.
I opt to accept the “now” without judgment and let growth come organically. Even if that means slightly postponing a commitment I’ve made.
Do you agree?